Letter

After a thunderstorm from school, I still function and feel released today. Actually I feel hopeful today. Probably it’s cause of the Indian milk tea and the cake. Anyway, life is full of hope, don’t give up, turn in the corner surprised are there for you to discover. Life may not beautiful bu surprised does. Try create more New things and opportunities, then life will full of surprised and it light make you happy everyday.

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letter

after a most dying day, i dark side of feeling turned out to be light. i think i am brilliant, cause i know that ever whole situation is kind of ridiculous but i still can manage it right. that is real, that is the ability that i am searching for.

a homework for continuing education

針對愛情與麵包與生活,許多有實地經驗的人都人都知道,三者很難全,因為要愛情就沒麵包,要麵包,愛情很難顧及,更何況還有現實生活的考驗。多少愛得死去活來的戀人,當克服萬難修成正果之後,由於難耐在一早起床看到另一半的眼屎,而難以為繼;或是沒想到心目中的女神竟然也會挖鼻孔,這擎天霹靂當然令人幻滅,並進而影響愛情或婚姻的持續。

問題是,我們一般人對另一半或理想情人的想望標準,是要能談情說愛,還要能修天花板;要有養家糊口的能力,還要能持家照顧小孩,並且保持完美形象。這諸多的限制與不切實際的幻想,讓一對對夫妻情侶走向分手的路途。

究竟對於另一半,或正在交往的對象,我們應該抱持什麼樣的心態,其實根據目前的人類情況來看,是沒有一定的標準答案,因為愈來愈高的離婚率,與不婚族,在在顯示人要能夠持續在婚姻或固定的關係裡,真的是挑戰愈來愈高了。尤其是諸多的外在誘惑,許多人可能會想著,下一個男(女)人會更好,而不願意面對兩人的相處問題。寧願追逐一次又一次的愛情遊戲,即使心很難再完整,卻仍對愛情抱持一絲絲想望。

問題是,若一廂情願認為另一半或對方就是該懂我,應該要配合自己的喜好的話,那真的是難相偕白頭到老。因為光要對方配合自己這件事,在熱戀時可以沒有問題,但老夫老妻的階段要能維持默契與和諧,應該是多配合對方,事事為對方想多一點,為自己想的少一點,有這樣的認知及態度,那麼才能攜手走長路,否則恐怕是三天一小吵,五天一大吵,沒多久關係就告終。

多培養共同嗜好,也是維持感情很重要的秘方。譬如外出踏青、騎單車、露營、溯溪等等接觸大自然;也可一起看電影聊聊劇情,分享對各種情感、情緒、情境的看法,以增加彼此的共識。而有了共同的活動及交流,當中共創的回憶也是彌足珍貴的愛情資產。因為唯有二人有話題,彼此才會愈走愈近,身心靈更加契合,心靈圓滿了,也才能讓彼此性靈更加美滿哦!

We all tend to have a perfect lover. The one who will (taking) care of us, and love us forever and ever. But in the real world there is no such things. When one are responsbile then he or she might not so romantic. When somone whe are more tend to have romantic, then I bet he or she might not so working hard in their lives.

It sounds a little bit difficult for keeping love in our life, right. Cause since we can’t taking care of everything for a good love life then we might got no chance to live in a happy life. But we people still live and love in life, why is that? I think that is because we are all human, we need to live and we need to love also the sex as well. We people got the emotion, so we show people how we feel about things, also we talk or write down as well. Thus we create stories for ourself and our lives, then we might have audiences too. I think that is the reason of our life keep go on and on.

But what are everyone searching for in their life. For food for shopping for loving people or for career, to show the value of our lives. I don’t know everyone is different. For me, I am quite vague as well. I live according to the mood, my mood effected by the weather or the moon. It sounds like kidding, but I bet you not. Everyone is different though, but we all need love and need someone to cherish our lives to care of us. Am I wrong, are you? Or not?

PS. 成教要交一篇加分的讀後心得,我於是挑了艾倫狄波頓的一篇散文來看,並寫了感想。我覺得由於是交功課為前提,我有點太嚴肅而使言語失了味道。不過,因為是第一次寫艾倫的讀後心得,寫得乏味應可原諒,希望下次能多提筆寫關於艾倫所討論的主題,才不失這一次的努力。這一篇雖寫得不夠好,但總是一個開頭。

  • 網址:http://www.thebookoflife.org/love-and-sex/
  • 網站:the book of life(創辦人:Alain De Botton
  • 作者:Alain De Botton
  • 作者簡介:https://zh.wikipedia.org/zh-tw/%E8%89%BE%E5%80%AB%C2%B7%E7%8B%84%E6%B3%A2%E9%A0%93
  • 篇章:CHAPTER 3: RELATIONSHIPS: SEX

標題:Love and Sex

One of the great burdens which our Romantic culture has imposed upon long-term relationships is the idea that love and sexual fulfillment must always, if things are working as they should, fit neatly together. This beautiful and hugely convenient idea raises a passionate hope that over many years two people will not only like and help one another, manage their domestic finances reasonably well, perhaps raise a family, have enjoyable holidays, understand one another’s problems, schedule cleaning rotas, put up with each other’s failings, see each others’ parents and friends and pursue their careers in harmony, but they will also be devoted and exciting sexual partners, endlessly entwining and recombining, sometimes being gentle and slow, at others, brutal and urgent, travelling together on a shared, life-long erotic adventure. It’s this sublime idea that begins to torment us when – as is the case in almost every relationship – sex starts with time to get at once less intense and less frequent, more cautious and more frustrating, more at odds with daily life and eventually definitively more daunting as a prospect than reading a book, watching the news together or simply going to sleep. This can appear nothing short of a catastrophe, a sign of monstrous failing and very often a prelude to a break-up. And yet the problem is not ours alone. It is simply that almost everything that can make love go well seems primed not to make sex go well – and vice versa. We are afflicted by a fundamental misalignment in the qualities of character and spirit required by good sex on the one hand and successful love on the other. A relationship cannot survive in the long term without tenderness, soberness, practical intelligence and selective resignation. We have carefully to fathom another’s motives, explain our moods, overcome hurts and sulks and assume a mantle of predictability. Sex on the other hand, in its most dramatic, thrilling versions, demands that we be heedless, decadent, perhaps cruel or untenably submissive. It can involve the crudest language and moments of sublime degradation. In having to suffer from feelings of inadequacy around what happens in long-term love, we are the victims of major cultural failure: the failure of our surrounding culture to continually stress a realistic picture of an unavoidable tension between two crucial yet incompatible themes of existence. In a wiser world, we would collectively admit that the very rare cases where love and sex did run together were astonishing exceptions with no relevance whatsoever to most of our lives. We would instead learn to pay admiring attention to those who had accepted with a reasonable show of dignity and grace that the natural price of long-term togetherness is a decline in the quality and frequency of sexual contact – and that this is, in a great many cases, a price very much worth paying.

google translation: 浪漫主義文化給長期關係帶來的巨大負擔之一,就是愛情和性滿足,如果事情正在按照他們的意圖工作,就必須始終巧妙地融合在一起。這個美麗而又極其便利的理念引發了一個多年的熱切希望,兩個人不僅能夠互相幫助,合理地管理好自己的財務狀況,還可以養家糊口,度過愉快的假期,了解彼此的問題,互相看待對方的父母和朋友,和諧地追求自己的事業,同時也是性伴侶,無休止的纏繞和重組,一起旅行共同的,終身的色情冒險。當這種崇高的想法開始折磨我們的時候,就像幾乎所有的關係一樣,性開始時間不那麼緊張,不那麼頻繁,更謹慎,更令人沮喪,更多的是與日常生活相衝突,最後更明確地說更多令人望而生畏,遠比看書,一起看新聞或者乾脆睡覺。這似乎不是什麼大災難,一個可怕的失敗的跡象,往往是一個分手的前奏。然而問題不是我們自己的問題。簡單地說,幾乎所有可以使愛情順利的東西似乎都不是為了讓性生活順利,反之亦然。我們受到性方面所要求的品格與精神與成功的愛之間根本的錯位的困擾。如果沒有溫柔,清醒,實際的智慧和選擇性的辭職,長期的關係是無法生存的。我們仔細揣摩別人的動機,解釋我們的情緒,克服痛苦和煩躁,並承擔起一個可預測的地位。另一方面,性在另一方面,在其最戲劇性,驚心動魄的版本,要求我們不注意,頹廢,也許是殘忍或不服從順從。它可以涉及最粗糙的語言和崇高的退化時刻。在長期的愛情中,不得不忍受周圍的不適感,我們是重大文化失敗的受害者:我們周圍文化的失敗,不斷強調兩個關鍵但不相容的生存主題之間不可避免的張力的現實圖景。在一個更加智慧的世界裡,我們會集體承認,愛情和性共同運行的非常罕見的情況是驚人的例外,與我們大部分人的生活沒有任何關係。相反,我們反過來會學習對那些接受了合理的尊嚴和恩典的人的讚賞,以致長期團結的自然代價是性接觸的質量和頻率的下降 – 這是一個偉大的很多情況下,價格非常值得支付。

台師大讀書會,成立囉!

耶,讀書會耶,我有多夢想要讀書,不僅是自個兒讀書,大夥兒一起讀書;自由自在的讀,有組織有目的的讀,亦或是有智者帶領的讀;通通都好,我通通都要讀,我都不缺席。我太嚮往那種與作者心靈交流之後激盪出的火花,然後透過自己的文字,與好友們分享。我期待已久了。從小到大的讀書方式就是,自己讀了算了,沒有下文了,很少有自發性、自主性的組成所謂讀書會,這一次能紮實的喊出並執行,我好開心哦,耶,台師大讀書會成立囉。你加入了嗎,如果你還沒加入,歡迎一起來讀書哦~

Welcome aboard to the Reading Club in NTNU!

Oh my goodness, i cant tell how happy i am, there is no words for me to express. but i still got to say that our reading club has lunched now. Well actually it’s yesterday, our class sister Chun Yi gather we classmates to join the reading club, she hope that we can read more, study more and be a real master degree student. well i am totally agree with her, i have been study(or read) by my own for more than ten years. i read one after one book, year after year and that’s all, nothing happen. Why is that, cause i haven’t been any proved or called test, i ain’t got any certification. so in the past i was a reader, and now i am a reader too, and for the future i will be a reader as well. Nothing happen.

What i am trying to say is that i am not to read for any prove or certification but i want make my reading or learning more efficiency and more constructured, therefore i can see things clearly and know what will be my next steps.

All right, i am happy anyway, i thanks for the Chun Iy sis and all the classmates who have help the reading group was born.